Folie à deux, II
by Isidis
Summary: Set in the 18th century Folie à deux  or shared psychosis  is a psychiatric syndrome in which symptoms of a delusional belief are transmitted from one individual to another. Source wikipedia  Tokio Hotel. Bill/Tom. Tragedy-twincest.


This is my first attempt at translating one of my stories. It's not perfect but it was fun to try to find the right words and give a bit of sense to that story. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

* * *

><p>Tom,<br>I would have done anything for you and you said you would kill for me. Did you ? Or was it me who got rid of those parasites that threatened our love ?

_We are seating at the diner table. Father at one end. Next to him his wife, our mother. She is beautiful but so cold... maybe this is what makes her so beautiful. It doesn't really matter, I don't have time for questions._  
><em>You are seating next to her. Tall and handsome. Proud. From time to time you send me secret looks. For every other person present, they may be of no importance but I know their meaning. You are undressing me with your eyes, remembering the fabulous morning we spent between the crumpled sheets of your bed. I joined you during the night and kept you awake through most of it. I smile knowingly at you. I remember too. How could I ever forget the warmth of your arms, the passion in our embraces, the sincerity of your smiles ? I'd like to stretch out my hand and touch your lips... but I can't. You are my brother, my twin and this relationship is our secret.<em>  
><em>But suddenly, my mind clouds over. A pale and feminine hand just landed on your hand, strong and masculine. One of Father's associates' daughter... maybe... I don't know. There are so many people tonight and I only have eyes for you.<em>  
><em>Why does her hand linger so long on yours ? I'd love to take her eyes out with my fork.<em>  
><em>And why do you let her ? I look at you again and you see in my eyes the clouds of anger, the fire of jealousy burning inside of them. Do you understand that she is too close and that she has to disappear ?<em>  
><em>I don't want to know. Without waiting any longer, I wipe the corners of my mouth and get up, somewhat stiffly. I need to get out of here. My blood is burning up in my veins, my heart is beating too fast and too hard. I need to get out of here before I explode.<em>  
><em>I fake a migraine and leave the room to get to my own bedroom. I hope you are not following me. I want you to bear her presence until the end of the night. I want her voice and her heady perfume to remind you that I left because of her. I want you to hate her.<em>

_Did it work ?_

_I wake up with a start. I can hear noise in the corridor and the floors downstairs. I don't know how much time has passed since I fell asleep, but the sun hasn't set up yet... it's still really early in the morning. I quickly put on a black satin night gown, the one you love the most, and rush out the corridor. Leaned over the railing, I see a group of people gathered in front of one of the many bedrooms doors. I wonder who is staying in that room. I hurry down the stairs and make my way through the thick crowd. It seems that everybody from the party stayed the night._  
><em>However only a very few people are present in the room. I watch the scene from afar for a few seconds, a bit lost. My brows are frowned and my mouth slightly open. A doctor is seated on the edge of the bed taking a girl's pulse... that girl. Suddenly, my frown disappear and my eyes are drawn to the side of the bed. There is an empty glass seating on the night table. I take a few steps forward and let my ears get filled by her pitiful and pathetic moans of agony. She is squirming, foaming dribble leaking from her lips down her chin. Poisoning. It means a slow and painful but unavoidable death.<em>  
><em>I look up again and meet your eyes. I knew you'd be there. You are staring at me intently, eyes shining, pupils dilated. So intense, I could shudder. You are trying to tell me something, aren't you ? Don't worry, I knew you would do what you had to do to calm me down.<em>  
><em>I take a deep and long calming breath and smile at you, satisfied. One last look at the dying girl and I'm out. I feel good.<em>

To this day, I still don't know if you killed her to satisfy me because you knew nothing else would calm me down or because you persuaded yourself that it was what I needed ? I'm a bit lost myself. Our little game had become so complicated and devious... because that is exactly what it became, right ? A game...

_I moan when my back meets the hard surface of the wooden door against which you just pushed me. I don't have time to recover. And I don't want to, anyway. I love it when it hurts and you know it. Your lips are bruising my neck with strong and passionate kisses. I need to feel your body against mine, so much more. One of my leg wraps around your waist and brings it closer to mine while my hands play with your hair._  
><em>I'm being gentle with you when you are being rough with me. It's exactly what we both like.<em>

_Slowly, you rub yourself against me but you really don't need to. I'm already so excited... just like you are. One look, one breath against my skin turns me on. We are lost in the moment, enjoying each others' warmth to the maximum, as if tomorrow might never come. I think we are doing it on purpose. A corridor, in broad day light, standing in front of Father's office ? Who is going to see us first ? Him or a servant ? Will we have time to escape ?_

_Do we want to escape ?_

_Of course, time flies without us noticing, as always, and a repetitive noise catches our attention down the corridor. As one, we turn our heads in that direction. It's footsteps we are hearing. Footsteps coming our way. We can see the outlines of the stranger's shadow on the wall, too. We can see him, but he can't, and when he does, what will happen ?_  
><em>I face you again and tenderly nibble at your jaw to have your attention back. My tongue is tasting your sweet skin. I want your entire attention. And you look at me of course because you want it too, don't you ? You want somebody to see us, too. A secret is no fun if nobody ever finds out. And the both of us, we know exactly why we want it to be revealed.<em>

_You kiss me again and again, your hands tangling painfully in my hair... I moan, I love it ! I scratch your back and pinch your butt. I can feel blood rushing through my veins as the footsteps grow closer and closer. Close, so close, almost there..._  
><em>And then, a crashing sound. The tray Anna was holding fell off her hands when she saw us. There is broken glass everywhere.<em>  
><em>Suddenly Father opens his office door shouting, annoyed that he was disturbed. He sees us, close to him, and then he sees her. With his eyes, he asks her for an explanation. And we stare coldly at her... Who will she choose to anger ? I think she fears us much more than she does Father. Her mind is made up. But can't she see that we made up ours too ?<em>  
><em>Once she is done cleaning up her mess, she leaves without looking back. Our eyes burn a hole into her back and haunt her steps.<em>  
><em>She knows, she knows... and we'll have to make sure she never tells anyone.<em>  
><em>Later, we make love with great passion and intensity. You know now, as well as I do, that death will be a part of our love and that without it, we'll lose each other.<em>

You killed her a few days later. I supplied the poison. As always. Can we say that I'm as guilty as you are if it was never me who actually poured the poison in the glass of those miserable ?  
>Do you think I'm guilty Tom ? Do you resent me ? If our places had been switched, I would have resented you.<p>

I think you always loved me. Just like I've always loved you. You were always so sensitive and shy that I know, deep down, if I had never forced you, you would never have kissed me. You would never have touched me nor made love to me. And more importantly, you would never have had to kill to protect our secret.  
>Everything you did, you did for me. And everything I did, I did for me, too. I established the rules, you followed them. I think you should have said no but I don't blame you. It's them I blame. The rest of the world rose up against us. The more we killed, the more there were.<p>

_Meet me tonight by the lake. The moon will be full and until early morning, I'll be telling you wonderful stories._  
><em>T.<em>

_I love our late night jaunts. So secret. So guilty. I love that you are being so romantic._

_The servant who gave me your carefully folded and sealed note leaves the room. I watch her walk away and disappear through my bedroom door. I wonder. Women are curious. Did she try to read the secret words you wrote to me, by a candlelight ? Does she know ? I'd love that... I think. My mind is too busy with thoughts of you to know if I want to see her dead or not._

_The night is finally here. I haven't seen you all day. But you have to understand, I made myself pretty just for you. I put on my midnight blue cape and get out discreetly... I think. But aren't I making too much noise walking down the marble floor of the entrance hall ? And haven't I closed the heavy wooden front door too loudly ?_

_The night air is cool. A light breeze makes me shiver. I don't mind. Soon I'll be in the safety and warmth of your arms. I put on the hood of my cape and dive into the dark thickness of the night. You were right. The moon is full and is showing me the way. It's captivating. The lake stands out in front of me and it glitters as the moon light reflects on it. You are there, not facing me, and you too have put on your hood so not to be recognized. Too bad I could recognize you from a hundred miles._  
><em>I quietly come closer. This time I'm sure. I don't want you to hear me, I want to surprise you. But...<em>

_I missed you today, you say quietly and I just know you are pouting. It makes me smile fondly._  
><em>I hope I'll be a good enough company for you tonight.<em>

_Never facing me, you stretch your hand out for me to grab and I let you hug me to your side. For a moment, we contemplate in silence that scenery you love so much. Nature, its quietness and stillness, always fascinated you._

_Aren't you going to kiss me after such a long time apart ?_

_I know I sound a bit accusing but what can I say ? I missed you too. It's not in our habits to be apart for so long. You laugh, a wonderful sound I love to hear, and finally face me. The moon, big and round, just behind you. It gives to your half hidden face a mysterious and attractive side._

_You hold out your hand and take off my hood to have a better look at my face. You love gazing at it as much as love gazing at yours. I feel the need to see yours, too. It's my time to take off your hood and your nice features are finally revealed to me. So beautiful... Your strong hands come to my face and gently stroke it. I close my eyes as our faces are inexorably drawn together._

_The whole world can rise against us and our love, there is no other place I'd rather be. Why go look elsewhere for something that is already ours? We are soulmates and it doesn't matter what people think. They will never stop me from loving you._

_The moment is magical, almost unreal. The night, the full moon, the fact that we haven't shared a moment so pure and true for so long ? So we don't do this just for the others after all ?_

_Or maybe we do... Somebody saw us. A stifled moan reaches our ears from behind the trees and we both turn our heads in that direction. Somebody is running away. It's her. The servant who gave me your note this morning. I knew she read it and that I had been too noisy sneaking out._

_Did I really do it on purpose ? Maybe. I want you to know that I regret. I think we were having a really great time together. Now we are going to have to take care of that problem. Once again you are going to have to play by my rules. You kiss me one last time and run after her. I walk the same way but I'm calm and serene. Once again, I'll get to keep my hands clean._  
><em>It's cruel, I know, that need to spread death around me and have you satisfy that need. Why don't you ever say no ? Do you really love me that much ?<em>  
><em>I'm standing at the foot of the castle. I look up when I hear voices on the roof. What are you two doing up there ? Was she really so scared that she ran aimlessly, without looking back, hoping she could lose you? I smile. It's amazing what some people would do to stay alive.<em>  
><em>I can't take my eyes off you and that insignificant lady. Isn't she out of her mind to try and fight you back ?<em>  
><em>You grab her by the shoulders and try to put some sense into her. What's the point ? Aren't you going to kill her anyway ? She saw us, she will never forget. I know that women are not only curious but they also don't know how to keep a secret. She will tell. We have to make sure she never does.<em>  
><em>Finally my eyes light up when you bring her closer to the edge of the roof. You send me just one quick look and I simply nod. Do what you have to do Tom. You know what is going to make me happy. I'll apologize later. Because, come to think of it, I did do it on purpose.<em>

I don't think I apologized that night. So I do it now if you don't mind. I'm sorry. For everything. But you have to understand, everything went so quick after she fell down the roof. Somebody saw you and I was so focused on you that I didn't notice. The rumor spread so fast that we didn't even have time for one last kiss.

There is something that even two years later, I can't explain. You didn't deny anything, at any time, but why not bring me down with you ? Did you really love me that much ? If I had been you, I would have brought you down with me, that's for sure.

Life is hard without you, don't be mistaken. But you see, it's true I love death, but I couldn't die for you. Because you see, life is beautiful even without you.  
>Bill<p>

The young man put down his letter on his dear twin brother's grave.  
>Two years before, he had attended Tom's execution by beheading. He had been rightfully sentenced to death for the numerous murders he had committed during the eight months preceding his arrest.<p>

Had Tom seen Bill's smile just when the blade met his neck ? His baby brother was enjoying that last show he was putting on.  
>But had Bill seen his twin's own smile when at death's door, he had the satisfaction of making his little brother happy one last time ?<p> 


End file.
